Death and Rebirth

I had a strange dream this morning. I dreamt that people around me were ignoring me. People seemed to walk past me as though I was not there. There was a strange sense of reality, yet I know I was dreaming. I guess this is what you might call it, a surreal feeling.

I was going around, to people I have known all the time, trying to talk to them or touch them. Somehow I was always ignored or always out of reach. A sense of loss overcame me as i felt I could do nothing in the situation.

Then suddenly a realisation dawned upon me. (This is gonna sound funny/spooky) I realised I was dead. I was a floating spirit among those whom I knew. It hit me that I passed away a week ago. 7 days to be exact. I remembered I even thought to myself that shouldn't I be back 100 days later instead? And gave myself a stupid excuse why I was back so quickly instead. For which I cannot remember.

I started looking around clearly to see those whom I loved, looking sad and trying to move on. I remembered thinking to myself again, "So that's how those I know feel when I'm gone" There was a sense of longing, knowing that all that I knew and loved are gone forever. And I scared myself awake with that very thought.

It was a very strange and vivid dream that I remembered it so clearly even after so long. Somehow dreams show the inner repressed feelings and thoughts one has over a period of time. Interestingly, death of oneself in this context means a rebirth. To change for a better. Some sort of renewal. I certainly hope it's a renewal for the better. Time shall show.

I have my fair share of de jevu dreams over the past 20 odd years of my life. Guess it's spooky when certain things in life happened and you suddenly felt it was all so familar as though you had experienced it b4. And then you realised that it was a dream you had a LONG TIME AGO which you didn't remember until the de jevu experience occured. But I guess this death experience won't be occuring anytime at all, given the fact that I remembered it so vividly for so long.

Then again, of course, we can never be so sure about such things. As for the change in my life, we shall see.