Seems like friday was only yesterday. And it seemed that many things happened in my mind over these past few days.
Well, i meet Her on friday after all this while. We met up for a simple dinner at NYDC in Suntec. It was kind of weird meeting her again. I was feeling a little excited and curious about how she's been all this while. Naturally, coz of all the unanswered qns i asked. I managed to reach there on time and (thankful of the fact that she was held up) had enuff time to rush over to Royce and got her a box of chocolates for a belated Valentine's/Friendship Day present.
Initially she messaged and asked me to go get a seat in the cafe first as she will be late. But i read the msg only after i walked passed NYDC and reached out meeting place. So i replied her msg saying i will be waiting at our arranged place instead of the cafe. And fearing she might be on her way over to the cafe, i called her as well. I thot a caught a hint of frustration when i told her i will still be waiting at the same spot. It was a further 10min wait until she arrived.
She seemed well and smiled when we met. So i guess she was feeling quite alright. So we moved over to NYDC and got a 2-seater. Thankfully the crowd was juz starting to build up, so we managed to find a seat fast. Anyway, we talked about work, parents, travels, and everything under the sun, short of relationship issue. I guess i revealed too much about my status so she knows that i m still single.
We talked and had our meals. The funny thing is, we offered each other our food, much like we ARE very close frens. (ARE we really?) There was no awkwardness between us thruout the nite. Something which got me thinking about getting back together. However, it was only until before we leave that she reveals that she is still attached.
What followed me home was a ton of mixed feelings, which got me caught between wanting to get back and to move on with my life. The first feeling i got was wanting to get the relationship back. But as i thot about it longer, i told myself, it's going to be different from then on, if we can get back again.
I know it's different. Coz things have definitely changed over the past months. It's definitely another round of keeping in contact and knowing her all over again. But then i really felt that it's no point getting back together. Coz it won't be a natural process of developing feelings for one another again. It would be very artificial to know someone so that i can fall in love with her again.
It is then that i realised i have moved on.
But i guess it came wif a price. On Saturday, i asked Her if it's possible for us to be together again. I wanted to know so that I can see where I stood in her life and how she viewed me. I was hoping she could give me a reply. But none came.
I thot abt it after that, and i found out i shdnt hav send that message to her. Coz her answer wont be affecting the decision i have made. But at the same time im really curious about how she viewed me.
However, up til now... no replies watsoever... and im wondering if something could have happened to her. Of course hopefully not.
Anyway, thank you all (esp the mini circle peeps) for listening to me whine about being confused and all.
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